Date: Tuesday, February 01, 20009:18 PM
From: Viridian5@aol.com
"In a Box" By Viridian51/30/00
RATING: PG-13; Fraser/Kowalski. Ifm/m interaction bothers you, walk on by.
SPOILERS: "Call of theWild"
SUMMARY: Some boxes are harder toget out of than others.
ARCHIVING/DISTRIBUTION: Serge andHexwood. If some kind person feels that this story is appropriatefor DIEF and/or DSX and wouldn't mind posting it, that would begreat as well. Anywhere else too, as long as you ask me first.
FEEDBACK: can be sent to
DISCLAIMERS: All things _due South_belong to Alliance no matter how much I want Ray K to belong tome. No infringement intended. Suing me would be a waste of time.Besides, I'd just kick you in the head.
NOTES: Most of the Rachel pieceoriginally belonged to "Journey Plus Destination," butit started to feel like too much of a digression and didn't fitanymore. Unwilling to abandon it, I gave it a new home here.Thanks to Te for a bit of conclusion guidance.
================= "In aBox" By Viridian5 =================
Ray stamped his feet, perhaps to getthe circulation going again. He looked very cold as he leanedagainst Fraser for warmth. "Y'know, when I told Dad I wasgoing off to the academy, I said being a cop was an all rightliving. Was I wrong. Spending a winter night in a box in an alleydoes not work for me. Feel like I should be begging for sparechange."
"We've done stakeoutsbefore."
"In the car. Heat, tunes,padded seats. I'm sitting on a crate inside a bigger crate. Myass is numb, I'm freezing, and I'm bored." Ray fidgeted somemore. "Hey, ya told me this guy's thing was that he wasalways where people least expected him, which was right wherehe'd last been, right? What if he now realizes that people expecthim to go back and decides he's not gonna do that?
One could always trust Ray to askthe questions no one wanted to answer. "Well."
"That what I thought." Rayblew a bubble; it popped with a small explosion of sound and astronger breath of peppermint. At Fraser's wince, Ray said,"Sorry, way louder than I expected. Won't do that again. Howmany days are we gonna wait here 'fore the brass decides the olddog learned a new trick and pull us off alley-sitting? Nah, nevermind. Yer not brass; how would you know? Being cooped up likethis just makes me crazy. And whiny. Sorry."
Fraser couldn't help thinking thathis Rays were very much alike in some ways, even as thatalikeness held difference. //That sounds strange and convolutedenough even as it's true to be something my Ray could havethought up.// They complained to alleviate boredom, yet theirfits of temper-laden whining didn't feel the same. So differentand so alike.... //I'm dwelling on the past again.//
"I understand," Frasersaid in his distraction and, lost in thought, asked aloud,"Ray, why is that you rarely use my first name?" AtRay's look of remorse, Fraser amended, "It's not acriticism, not at all. I'm just curious in mystudent-of-human-nature way."
"You never said. Would havecalled ya by yer first name if I knew ya wanted me to. Really.'Sjust me being undercover and doing as the Romans do. Everyonecalls you 'Fraser,' so I figured that's how ya wanted it. Youcome off as being the formal type."
"'Come off'? Are you saying I'mnot?"
"You have yer moments."
Fraser couldn't help smiling atthat. "But some people call me 'Frasier.'"
"Some people are wrong andmispronouncing yer name. Frasier's a TV character, while yer you.Some cops just prefer doing the last name thing. Ray did."
"Ray?"
"Rachel. She hated it andwanted to be called 'Ray.' Yeah, another one, right? But I'd beenthere years longer than she had, and we kept getting paired up onassignments, and we had a lot of things in common--"
"I'm trying to imagine that.I'm afraid I'm failing." Fraser smiled as he anticipated thecolorful torrent of words sure to follow.
"Yer funny. Both of us had thatkick-'em-in-the-head attitude, a thing for dancing, nervousenergy. My old lieutenant used to joke that he could power thewhole city if he just hooked the two of us up to the power grid.We talked with our hands a lot. Stuff like that. Funniest thingwas that if you put us in a room together, we became more likeone another, ya know? Damn, we had a blast messing with people'sheads. So there we were, both of us Ray, and people couldn't getover getting the both of us anytime anyone said our name."Ray smirked. "Of course, *we* were fine with it and knew whowe were, but everyone else had trouble. So our Lieu there hadeveryone call her 'Walker.' She kinda liked it and was used to itfrom when she was working off the G.I. Bill, so everyone at theprecinct but me went with it.
"What I'm saying is that witheveryone calling you 'Fraser,' and you never saying anythingdifferent to me, I did it too. You tell me what you wanna becalled, and I'll use it."
"But, Ray, this woman you justmentioned...."
"Yeah?"
"I assumed... Well, from whatyou told me of your circumstances when you accepted theassignment to become Raymond Vecchio, I assumed...."
"What, that I had nofriends?" Ray looked rueful. "I guess I can understandyou thinking that. I had friends, before and after the divorce.Well, before was what friends Stel let me keep. Wait, that's notfair; I coulda told Stella to shove it but didn't, so it was mychoice. I drove off Ray for a while to make Stella happy, said Icouldn't socialize after work no more. Ray was pretty good aboutit eventually, but she was enough like me to barely be able tohold herself back from punching me out at the time. Self-controlfor us meant that she just mouthed off as I talked, then walkedaway saying I could get back to her when I got my balls back frommy wife." Ray grinned.
"Ray!"
"Direct quote, I swear. She wasone of those one-of-the-guys types, just not enough one of theguys to make Stella happy, ya know? But maybe Stella just wantedto push me into saying 'no' to her, wanted to see if I had somebackbone. I never did.
"Then Stel divorced me, and itwas like I was in a glass box with my misery. I couldn't touchnobody, and nobody could touch me. Thought I was protectingmyself and others. I still had friends, and they tried to helpme, but I couldn't *feel* them anymore."
"I never see you with anyonefrom your old life now. You're forced to be around Stella."
"Yeah, well, I have theundercover thing."
"Ray."
"Okay, okay. Couldn't ya let mekeep some of my delusions? Some?"
"No."
Ray shook his head. "Pay andpay...."
"Ray!"
"Okay, my friends and why Idon' go see 'em. Aside from the earlier stuff I did to try tokeep Stella, I pulled some other shit on them. When I was a messfrom the divorce, I didn't always keep it to myself allsullen-like, though I did that too. I lashed out at peoplesometimes, lashed out hard and nasty. Especially at Ray. You'dthink she was the representative for all womankind the way Isnarled at her. It was so damned unfair of me, and I couldn'teven try to excuse it with saying she was anything like Stella,because she wasn't, never was. I don't deserve thosefriends."
"I'm sure theyunderstand."
"It's been about twoyears."
"I doubt they will haveforgotten you."
"Was that a compliment or acrack?"
"Compliment. You shouldreinitiate contact with them."
"Fraser...."
"Promise me you will? If notfor yourself, then for me. I'm burning with curiosity about yourfemale doppelganger."
"Hello?"
"Your other Ray."
"Gotcha. Yeah, okay, I promise.Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."
"That's... disgusting."
Ray seemed to move closer, toradiate more energy at Fraser. "Well, that's the depth of mycommitment to you. Or a sign I should be committed. So, what*should* I call ya? Benton? Ben? Anything ya want, I'll do. Ifyou wanna be Skippy or Jo-Jo the Dog Faced Boy, I'll useit."
Ray had every right to ask,considering Fraser had brought it up, yet it made Fraser feeluncomfortable to think about it. Ray calling him "Ben."The thought of becoming even closer with this man who'd somehowgotten under his skin so easily and immediately left himterrified and burning with longing all at once. Two years hadn'tblunted the edge of his fear.
"You can call me 'Fraser' or'Frase' as you usually do."
"But-- Then-- Why didyou--" Ray shook his head. "Okay, but yer a freak.Sometimes I really don't get you."
*********************THEEND************************
More Viridian5 stories can be foundin The Green Room at http://members.tripod.com/~drovar/viridian/Fandoms represented: due South, X-Files, the Buffy the VampireSlayer movie, Two Guys and a Girl (was Two Guys, a Girl and aPizza Place), Once a Thief, Angel, Hard Core Logo, X-Men, DoctorWho
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